Adverbs from the past

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Damn Powerful writing: kicking the empty adverb addiction

Mark Twain once suggested: “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

Adverbs are the words we use to add emphasis to our phrases: wonderfully beautiful, really interesting, and quite unusual try to indicate that something is more than beautiful, more interesting than you’d expect, and more unusual than normal. If adverbs can strengthen our message, why do we think so many of them are “empty adverbs” that add more “fluff” than substance?

Too often, adverbs do just the opposite of enhancing the message a speaker or writer is trying to convey. In the worst case, adverbs make the audience wonder if the “incredibly innovative software” idea offers nothing new at all, and if the “amazingly effective consulting strategy” is just an average one trying to impress them with big words. On the other hand, the simpler and more straightforward “innovative software” sounds more professional and less gimmicky, and an “effective consulting strategy” holds more appeal for your prospects without giving them the sense that you may be over-promising (and under-delivering). The bottom line is this: Said too many times, empty adverbs will inspire doubt rather than trust and dilute the message.

Two of the adverbs we (over)use most are very and quite. We use them as “intensifiers” to strengthen adverbs as well, such as in “very expensively dressed” and “quite literally stated”. Unfortunately, they often add little more than an extra word, and instead can muddle the main point. Very and quite are rarely essential.

Other potentially empty adverbs include actually, totally, absolutely, amazingly, completely, continually, constantly, continuously, literally, really, seriously, unfortunately, ironically, incredibly, hopefully, finally and unusually. “It’s a remarkable story” is a more powerful, self-assured comment than “it’s actually a remarkable story,” and “a flawless system” transmits a more confident message than “a totally flawless” one.

Sometimes, it’s not just a matter of removing the adverb but also of using active, action-oriented verbs instead of adjectives. For example, instead of saying “We are very supportive of our clients” say “We support our clients.” As a blogger recently wrote, “A good writer knows that an adverb is just a better verb waiting to happen.”

So, although empty adverbs may sound OK in ordinary speech, watch out for them in your writing. Many authors, journalists, copywriters, PR professionals and other writers rely on this clever trick to make their text more concise and to-the-point:

EMPTY-ADVERB TRICK: Once your text (email, brochure, press release, case story, etc.) is written, read through it again and get rid of as many adverbs as you can. Ask yourself: Does this sentence make sense if I remove the adverb (usually, it will)? And then: Can I restructure this sentence to make the message clearer by using a stronger verb?

Dramatic as this may seem, the goal is evident: the more you can cut your text down to the essential messages and benefits, the more clearly you will get your point across. You’ll be surprised by the results.

To see how this trick works, try it on an empty-adverb-afflicted personal ad:

“An unusually smart, very sophisticated woman looking for a very unique man who can become my very best friend. I’m a very spontaneous person with quite a positive outlook on life and am actually very friendly. I’m also really good at cooking, incredibly into travelling, and have an amazingly friendly dog.”

By the end, you might question this woman’s honesty, and get the vague feeling that the adverb-filled description is trying to compensate for some qualities she doesn’t actually have. But with a little editing and a lot of adverb-deletion, you get:

“A smart, sophisticated woman looking for a unique man who can become my best friend. I am spontaneous, friendly, and have a positive outlook on life. I’m also a good cook, love to travel, and have a friendly dog.”

Not only does her description now seem more down-to-earth and toned-down, but the reader’s eyes do not glaze over (not to mention that the ad costs less to place in her local paper).

In business writing – where you need to get your point across as effectively as possible and every unnecessary word threatens to weaken your message – avoiding empty adverbs is essential. Your reader or prospect will be far more likely to extract your key points and focus on your writing if it uses strong, active verbs and defines features and benefits in as few words as possible.

Some examples:

With empty adverbs :: Without empty adverbs / With better verbs

We work very hard :: We work hard

Very beneficial to your business :: Beneficial to your business / Improves your business

A very reliable network :: A network you can rely on

Incredibly quick service :: The quickest service in town

Probably the best beer in town :: The best beer in town