The top 10 Danish bloopers

There is so much overlap between Danish and English, sometimes it translates… but sometimes it really doesn’t.We’ve chosen ten of the most famous incidents where Danes were caught with their linguistic trousers down. Be warned: the list is not for the faint of heart, and may contain some strong language.

1. Information for guests in a Danish hotel: “You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”

2. About to go out for lunch with friends, a young Dane says to his girlfriend who’s about to take a nap, “I’ll come back after lunch and knock you up.”

3. After a good meal (and a few glasses of wine) a Danish lady calls over the waiter and says in a clear, penetrating voice, “My compliments to your kok.”

4. A Dane in an English pub: “Can I borrow the toilet?”

5. A Danish tourist in New York tries to cross the street, and narrowly avoids getting run over. A police officer, who sees it all happen, shouts above the traffic noise, “Did you come here to die?” Puzzled, the tourist shouts back, “No, I came yesterday.”

6. A Danish lawyer on holiday in London was out on the town with some friends. At the end of the evening, she hailed a taxi, opened the driver’s door and tried to get in. Apologizing to the startled taxi driver, she said, “Oh yes, I forgot. The rat is on the other side here in England.”

7. A Dane in an English restaurant: “I would like a bloody beef.” After a short pause, the waiter said, “And perhaps you’d like it with some f**king potatoes?”

8. Stopped by an English policeman for speeding, a Danish businessman says, “Excuse me, but what is the fart limit?”

9. The father of an American family to their Danish au pair: “Do you want to use the restroom before we drive cross State?”
The au pair: “No, I can do it in the car.”

10. And finally, how about this for a deft piece of diplomacy: after attracting disapproving stares in a quiet English country pub for belching loudly, a Danish tourist addresses the room in a firm, authoritative voice, “To rape is not a crime.”