That hurts: US political bloopers

Some of the biggest names in US politics have made utter and hilarious fools of themselves.

In the US, as in many countries, anyone can become a leader. No, really. Anyone. There’s no exam, no background check, no reference required. Some vague qualifications about citizenship and age, sure, but if you can convince enough of the public to like you, you’re in.

In the States, likeability is probably one of the most important factors in getting elected. It’s a high school popularity contest all over again. In fact, rather than evaluating a candidate’s fiscal or foreign policy, many Americans are inclined to pick a president with whom they’d want to “have a beer.”

Naturally, that low standard can leave lots to be desired in the arena of wit or even the ability to read a teleprompter. But it does provide hours of entertainment for late night comics.

We’ll start with a few from the current Commander-in-Chief, Barack Obama:

“The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.”

“The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”

“On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today…”

“I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go.”

The first Bush was less gaffe-prone than his son, but still managed to embarrass himself a time or two:

“We have had triumphs, we have made mistakes, we have had sex.” George H.W. Bush (Supposedly, he meant “setbacks.”)

Of course, his Vice President, Dan Quayle – of the infamous “potatoe” incident – was a veritable goldmine:

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

“It isn’t pollution that is harming our environment. It’s impurities in our air and water.”

“What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”

“If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.”

For “The Great Communicator,” we’ll just chalk this one up to impending senility:

“I went down [to Latin America] to find out from them and their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries.” Ronald Reagan

Bill Clinton was sometimes called “Slick Willie” for his ease with words (and perhaps other things), but he wasn’t always eloquent:

“This is still the greatest country in the world, if we just will steel our wills and lose our minds.”

Al Gore might still be teased for “inventing the Internet,” but we won’t soon forget these gems:

“A zebra doesn’t change its spots.”

“We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”

Our grand finale, however, needs little introduction. Ladies and gentleman, George W. Bush:

“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.”

“Rarely is the question asked, Is our children learning?”

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

“See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.”

“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.”

“I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep on the soil of a friend.” (On his visit to Denmark, June 2005.)