Stupid is as stupid does
Tech support call center scenarios to try anyone’s patience
We all know that we need to be kind to our customers, but some can try our patience more than others. Take a look at these transcripts from tech support call centers for some classically stupid customers….
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one.
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry.
Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on ‘start’ for me and…
Customer: Listen pal, don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.
Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah….thank you.
Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk ten paces back.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work.
Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.